Common Problems on Draft 1

Introduction

-          Avoid using outside sources in your introduction. This should be your own words.

-          Explain any patterns relevant to this topic.

o   Patterns within the text itself

o   The way this text fits into a larger pattern

-          Then explain the meaning of fitting into/breaking this pattern (this should be your thesis)

Thesis

-          Most of you don’t have thesis statements. Or at least you do not have thesis statements in the introductory paragraph (this is where they should be).

-          Many of you do have thesis statements—or something similar—in your conclusions. If so, make sure you include this in the introduction as well.

o   If you don’t have a thesis statement in your conclusion, keep analyzing that data.

Analyze the Data (see the model draft)

-          Many of you are presenting the data (sources) that you found.

-          A lot of this data is very useful, but you need to analyze it before you present it to the reader.

o   Look for patterns

o   Look for deviations/outliers from patterns

o   Does your main text fit these patterns?

o   Explain these patterns and how things fit—or don’t—in detail.

-          So rather than present the data to the reader and assume that the reader will make sense of it, you need to make sense of your own data. And present your analysis to the reader.

o   Support this analysis with your sources, but the sources themselves should not be entire paragraphs

Audience Response

-          Many of you reference reader/audience reaction to a work. While appealing to an audience is certainly important to the overall success of a film, this has very little to do with your central topic. Stop referencing the audience (unless it is a defined element of your research question.)

Sources:

-          Introduce quotes (tell us who says this and why we should listen to them)

-          The quote should be integrated into the sentence structure

-          Explain why this quote is useful to your topic. Why have you included it in your paper?

Citation – Use MLA citation guide

-          In-text citation

-          Authorial reference (user author’s last name only)

Sentence Structure

-          Use present tense

-          Passive voice L

o   Example: “X is [past tense verb] by Y”

o   To fix, re-order the subject and object of the sentence: “Y [present tense verb] X.”

-          Transitions

o   Don’t reduce information

§  “In other words”

§  “In a word”

§  “Bascially”

-          Even

o   Positive construction: “He  even runs away.”

o   Negative Construction: “He even does not run away”à “He does not even run away”

Tuesday, May 26 Draft 1.1

Draft 1 was due today. I gave you the options of peer review or self review in preparation for Draft 2. You asked instead for my comments, opting to make Draft 2 your final draft, rather than Draft 3.
I have made some revision to the schedule to allow for this. Please see the schedule.

Draft 1

Having completed your detailed outlines and received your partner's feedback, I'd like you to work on Draft 1.
This is due on Tuesday.

Directions:
Please submit your drafts using the turnitin.com website (we will be using this website for Drafts 1-3).
Our class ID is 9987328
Password is 123456

If you have difficulty using the site, please email me.

Sharing Google Docs

As you work on your Literature Review, please make sure that you check your Google Docs and make them share-able with me. I need to be able to edit your documents. The best option is to make this public to anyone who has the link, though you can also make it available only to me at jmarquar@kean.edu.
See this video, or ask me if you have questions.

If I have left comments for you about sharing, please
1) fix the sharing options and
2) email me to let me know that your homework is available to grade

Fun with Annotated Bibliographies

Annotated Bibliographies:
We decided as a class to reduce the number of annotated sources down to 15, rather than 20.

We will be working on your bibliography project in class today. As we prepare for your annotated bibliography, here are two samples to use.

The Bedford St. Martin sample bibliography (sample to follow)
The OWL at Purdue sample bibliography (lengthy annotations)

There are some significant differences between these two samples in terms of the kind of annotation I'd like you to do. The most important elements I want you to consider are 1) what does the text say and 2) how does this aid your project.

Many annotated bibliographies also evaluate the source and compare it to other sources. For this class, we are saving the synthesis of sources for your step of the Literature Review. So you need not include synthesis in your annotated bibliographies for this course (though future courses might ask you to include this).

Literature Review:
This step is due on Tuesday (week 11).
Here is an example of a literature review and how it can work in your essay.
- Please note: the first part of this is an annotated bibliography.
- the second step is the literature review.
Here is an example of how a literature review works in a published, academic essay.

Literature reviews are often found in scientific academic papers, introducing the topic.

Presentations:
I also asked you to think about your final presentations for the course. What do we want these to look like?
The standard option is for every person to stand before the class and read their papers. Or at least give a summary of their papers.
Another option is to adopt the idea of Gonzolab's "Dance Your PhD" in which researchers explain their ideas (the relationship between x and y) through funny choreographies/dances.
Here is one example:

We will determine this by Friday, so please be ready to respond.

Due Friday: Annotated bibliography

Scholarly Sources

Today, I introduced the Bibliography Project (see link to the assignment sheet--and examples--at the right).

Part 1 (the 30 citations) are due on Tuesday, May 5.

We discussed what academic articles are (and how to determine scholarly sources from non-scholarly sources).

- have expert authors

- appear in peer-reviewed journals (or books)

- contain references/citations

- are NOT book reviews

- please see the flowcharts below

We discussed how to search for academic articles.

- using the databases on Kean Library

MLA International Bibliography

JStor

Academic Search Premier

Be creative with your key terms

Example: if I am searching for loneliness, I might use synonyms: alone, alienation, isolation. I might also change the word form.

For texts/authors such as Walt Whitman, I might widen my search by genre to include American poets or transcendentalists.

Some flowcharts about determining scholarly sources.

Assignment: 

Develop 10 synonyms for your existing search terms. Post these on your blog.

Work on your Research Plan (for Tuesday)

Work on your Bibliography part 1

Research Proposal

Today we introduced the Research Proposal
- The Research Statement (due Friday, Apr 24)
- The Research Plan (due Tuesday, Apr 28).

To begin either of these things, you will need o have a strong research question. We discussed a few of these in class, and worked on making them more specific. I urge you to talk/email me about your own questions if you have not already.

Revised Analysis Papers

For those not happy with their grades of the Analysis Paper, you have one chance to improve your score. Please post your revised analysis papers here, as comments to this post.

- It is ok if these new drafts have a lower word count.
- If you somehow do a terrible job and write a worse paper the third time around (this never happens) you will keep the highest grade.

Remember to:
- completely rewrite the draft, don't just fix grammatical errors
- address larger issues that I raise in my comments
- include your previous draft with my comments
- if you visit the ELC, you can also document this in your revision

Analysis in Film

Today we discussed your group analysis of short films. Each group:
1) gave a short summary
2) identified important elements/parts of the film
3) identified moments in the film when the part was used
4) explained the meaning of the part and how it helps us better understand the film

Group 1 "Future Hero" (we will skip summaries in this post--but please do not skip them in your own work)
Important Element: the nap
The moments in the film that you identified were
1.) the disengaged father napping
2.) the father being woken from a nap by the entrance of the killer
3.) the father wanting a nap, but resisting this urge in order to be with his son
4.) at the end of the film, the [awake] father has successfully defending his son, has maintained his relationship with his wife, and we see the family together as a unit
Meaning: You determined that naps signaled a kind of disengagement. When the father engaged, this changed the course of history.

Group 2, "Rosemary Jane:"
Important element: doors
Moments in the film that uses doors:
1) Rosemary is reluctant to open the door and go outside
2) Upon returning, she is relieved to close the door behind her
3) After her interactions, her return is much more relaxed that her previous return. She is not in a hurry to close the door behind her.
Meaning: doors = social boundaries
In this film, doors are barriers that Rosemary places between herself and the outside world. She is anxious about engaging with the world and relieved to leave it. But over the course of the film, she becomes less anxious and more engaged.

Group 3: "You and Me"
Important element: the bed
Moments:
1) The man makes his bed clean and orderly in preparation for the woman
2) the woman enters and they use the bed to watch a film/make love. They begin a relationship.
3) They bring work/food/etc to the bed.
4) The bed becomes a mess and they eventually fight and break up.
5) The man takes refuge on the bed.
6) He cleans his bed.
Meaning: bed = relationship
The bed is a symbol of a romantic relationship. Initially, the bed is only used for romantic purposes. But it slowly becomes polluted with non-romantic things: work, food, etc. This pollution is what ultimately causes the relationship to fail. And the man must re-make his bed and start again.

Group 4: "Ringo"
We had some difficulty with this one, a story about prostitution and mother-son relationships. We talked a lot about money, but did not reach a satisfying conclusion by the end of class.
This is ok. Sometimes it takes a while to figure out the meaning. I will take the weekend, look at the film, and present a cohesive analysis on Tuesday.

Analysis Group Work

Today, we will do an in-class activity with visual analysis. Here is the prezi.

For your assignment:
You may work alone or in a group. Select one short film from Short of the Week. Please write your name (and group members' names, if applicable) and the title and link of film you select in the comments section of this post.
It is ok to choose the same film as another group, but please coordinate to make sure that you focus on different parts/elements.

• Summarize the film in one paragraph.
• Identify the different elements/parts of this film.
• Choose one part/element.
• Describe this element. How/when is it used in the film?

You will present your findings in class on Wednesday.

UPenn CPF

Today, I introduced our Research Assignment. 2000 words can seem scary. It is scary. But the key to doing this--and doing it well--is to break the project down into small, managable steps. So that's what we're doing here.

To start, you have to have something interesting to talk about. We spent much of today's class talking about the UPenn Call for Papers (link at right).

The UPenn CFP is a database of calls for papers, where academics find venues for their work. Projects might be conferences, in which you deliver a paper or participate in a panel discussion. Or the project might be an essay for publication in a journal or anthology.

Features of Calls:
Many calls are general on purpose. The reason for this is to allow scholars to define their own terms in their own, interesting ways. For example, the call for "vulnerability" was seemingly specific, but after discussion, it became obvious that "vulnerability" could be interpreted many different ways. Likewise for Harry Potter studies.

Assignment:
We postponed the deadline for your Short Analysis Papers to Friday at midnight. (Please post as a Google Doc on your blog).

For your research project:
- find 3 CPF (using the UPenn CFP database) and summarize these on your blog.
Example: "Into the Pensieve: The Harry Potter Generation in Retrospect." (Edited Collection--or a book). The collection is interested in the ways that the Harry Potter series has impacted readers. Suggested topics cover:

• fandom
• historical approach
• cultural approach

- find 5 texts/subjects that you might research/analyze that speak to these questions (X)
Example: the Harry Potter series. Or, better yet, a specific text: Harry Potter and the Ring of Fire.

- for each text/subject, identify 3 elements--or ways you might investigate (Y)
Example: fans of Harry Potter, Chinese fans of Harry Potter, bullying in Harry Potter, etc.

Please come to class on Friday ready to share/discuss your potential topics. We will have a discussion in class about which topics would work well for a research project and what might need to be changed.

Short Analysis Workshop

Today, we will be workshopping your short analysis papers in class.
Lotus has offered her draft for review. It is an excellent first draft and we will look at this together.

Afterward, I'd like you to workshop each other's essays using the following directions/questions.

Editor's Name: (you)

Writer's Name: (author of the paper you are editing)

1)      Read the entire paper

2)      What is the thesis of the paper? Highlight this in some absurd color.

3)      Make a paragraph-by-paragraph outline. Summarize each paragraph in a single sentence.

4)      Does each paragraph support the thesis?

5)      Are there any missing pieces of information?

6)      Are the connections as clear as the writer wants them to be?

7)      What information needs to be established earlier in the paper?

8)      Mark the places where discussion steers away from the main argument.

9)      When writing about literature/film, verbs should be present tense. Mark any verbs that are not present-tense.

10)   What is the strongest/most interesting part of the paper?

11)   What is the least interesting part?

12)   Mark any moments of confusion.

13)   Email the draft AND your answers to these questions to your author and to me at jmarquar@kean.edu

Short Analysis: Using Examples, Finding Meaning

Today, we talked about the significant objects you found in Bender's short story "Dearth" and the examples in the texts that you used.

We examined these examples and developed a relationship/pattern.

Potatoes

-          Potatoes fill a void

-          “They were that memory, created.”

-          That memory = former life involving Mother (love, food, caretaking)

-          The potatoes have been created in order to provide her the feelings of that memory love, food, and caretaking.

Narrator is lacking love, nutrition, company, family

Nasturniums

Example 1: decorative flowers

-          Hardy (grow easily in difficult conditions) – good for our woman

-          Small, modest (opposite of sunflowers)

Example 2: nasturniums are watered (at moment of love happening in the street)

-          Nourishment/ Love

Example 3: Nasturnium seeds = location of potato death (flowers that have not yet become flowers, but they have potential)

-          Potential for potatoes

-          Potential for flowers

-          Potential for woman

Example 4: potatoes unburied, dressed/accepted, Nasturniums blossom (growth – generation)

Dirt

                Function of Dirt:

1)      Impurity

2)      Place of removal

a.       Grave

b.      Burying bodies

c.       Lack of life

3)      Place of growth: nutrients/love

a.       Plants

b.      potatoes

Example 1: “jabbing the dirt” – frustration/anger at the return of the potatoes

                Example 2: “pushing dirt out of her house” – lack of acceptance/anxiety (function of dirt: impurity, thing to be removed, unacceptance)

                Example 3: eats the potato “taste is like stale dirt” (function of dirt: lack of life/place of removal)

                Example 4: buries potatoes (function of dirt: lack of life/place of removal)

                Example 5: unburies potatoes (function of dirt: growth/generation)

                Example 6: touches dirt, layers of dirt become part of potatoes (function of dirt: growth/generation)

                Example 7: potatoes are root vegetables, they require dirt to grow (function of dirt: growth/generation)

Bathroom – indicating woman’s privacy, closed, lack of love

Example 1: woman hides potatoes in the bathroom (bathroom as a place of secrecy)

Example 2: place of privacy/isolation (woman wants to be alone, sends potatoes out)

Example 3: place of intimacy

-          woman unwilling to share bathroom (lacks intimacy, lacks love)

-          neighbor willing to share (person who has love)

Example 4: reveal her lie (telling the truth – open, vulnerable)

Cemetery/Graves (unrequited love)

-          Cemetery = place of family/family home/absence of life

Woman Loves family (her love is not returned)

-          Bartender’s wife’s grave: epitaph “she was greatly loved” = expression of love made permanent (writing in stone), balance a lack/withholding of love

Bartender loves wife; love is not returned

-          Metaphorical grave: burying potatoes = lack of acceptance of potatoes/love

Potato children love the woman; their love is not returned

Eyes

1.       Eye of a potato (anatomy of a potato)

2.       Organ - Receive information (watching)

3.       Being watched

Example 1: eyes as identifying marks (familiarity)

Example 2: potatoes watching her (watching as accepting) = eyes as communication

Example 3: woman buries potato: potatoes watching the woman, (watching as indicting) = eyes as communication

Example 4: farmer views potatoes, woman views potatoes (watching as curiosity/acceptance)

Topics we did not get to (but are still really good)

• Unrequited Love
• Smell
• Cast Iron Pot
• Sunflowers

Assignment: Draft 1 (minimum of 3 pages) due on Friday.

Post as a Google Doc on your blog [name.sa1.doc]

Today, you presented the articles that you analyzed for your group assignment.

The purpose of this assignment was 1) to investigate further how literary articles work 2) develop further insight into the ways that people analyze one particular topic (in this case, "The Simpsons").

Crawford, Alison. “’Oh Yeah!’: Family Guy as Magical Realism?”

Henry, Matthew” 'Don't Ask Me, I'm Just a Girl': Feminism, Female Identity, and The Simpsons”

(and coming on Friday...)

Mittell, Jason. “Cartoon Realism: Genre Mixing and the Cultural Life of The Simpsons”

Henry, Matthew. “The Triumph of Popular Culture: Situation Comedy, Postmodernism and The Simpsons"  

We developed a model for the way that these articles work in which
A = the primary text, or the main focus of the article
B = the context, meaning the relevant history or comparative text (i.e. other television shows) that the author uses to compare/contrast with the primary text
C = the particular view/theme/focus that the author takes (do they focus on gender roles? class? race/ representation? etc.).

For example:

We determined that in Jessica Neuhaus' article "Marge's Blue Hair: Defining Domesticity in the Simpsons" that we read as a class:

a = The Simpsons

b = traditional 1950's American sitcoms

c = domesticity

in Crawford's article "'Oh Yeah': Family Guy as Magical Realism,"

a= Family Guy

b = The Simpsons

c= representation
In Henry's article, "Don't Ask Me, I'm Just a Girl"
a = The Simpsons
b = Murphy Brown + the history of feminism
c= the evolving and ambiguous definition of feminism

Please think about this model as we finish the Mittell and Henry articles on Friday.

Assignment: Please read the assignment sheet for our upcoming project: Short Analysis Paper. This assignment requires us to read a text together as a class. I invite you to post a specific text AS A REPLY TO THIS POST by Thursday evening. The more specific the better. I will appreciate links, if available.

Posts for Tuesday's Presentations

In preparation for our discussion on literary articles regarding The Simpsons, please post the links to your visual aids [prezi, etc.] as a response to this post. Only one post per group.

Tuesday, 3/17

Today we discussed the Kim article, "Designing Gamification."
As you determined, Kim's field is Education or how to best get students to learn, retain, and apply information. In this article, she was examining how to do this with games.

Kim's data collection involved collecting a number of different sources. Most of these sources performed their own studies (this would be a very normal method for the Education field), Kim grouped the different studies together in order to arrive at her own conclusions.

As you pointed out, designing games are determined by a few different factors. Kim's discussion addressed 1) the content and type of content 2) audience. The type of game created naturally depends on this information. And we spent some time discussing different game types.

Kim elaborated on these points by using examples from her sources.

As an exercise, I asked you to imagine what kind of game you would create if you were going to teach this article, using our class as an audience. You determined that the information here was process oriented; so according to Kim's text, you would build a game that emphasized software challenges and practice such as Data Miner.

Your assignment for Friday is to read: Andrea Barret's short story "The Forest."
While the format here is a short fictional story, it also contains the same elements of research that we have examined in literary research and educational research. I would like for your response to address these elements.

Monday, 3/10

Today we discussed The Simpson's episode "She Used to Be My Girl." I asked you to watch the episode and determine a several meaningful objects.

You identified:

• the puppy that the mayor uses to distract the media
• Krusty the Clown
• The Media Circus
• Homer's fatness

The media circus was especially interesting. You identified the purpose of the media as finding/telling the truth. But in this episode, the media [with the exception of Chloe] are easily distracted by the cuteness of a puppy.

Likewise, the traditional purpose of a clown is to entertain children. However, Krusty the Clown does no such thing. He is irritable and often inappropriate/corrupt, drinking in public and yelling at passersby. Lin Peizhi suggested that Krusty was a reflection of society that was also corrupt and inappropriate. 

So we can see how The Simpsons uses Krusty the Clown and the media to mock each other. Each have their traditional purposes, but they perform the wrong roles: the media, which is supposed to inform, is focused on entertainment; meanwhile, Krusty, who is supposed to entertain, reflects society.

Traditional Roles

In the same way that The Simpsons satirizes the media and clowns, we talked about the way it makes fun of other traditional meaning. Especially traditional roles of male and female. 

As we saw in early American sitcoms such as "Father Knows Best," males are the traditional figures of power and strength in a family. They provide money, are the centers of knowledge, and are also problem-solvers.

Meanwhile, traditional female roles involve domestic maintenance: women should maintain a clean and nurturing environment for their families. This involves providing spiritual guidance, nourishing food, and also maintaining their own appearances.

These sitcoms also have a traditional structure of ending with a moral [and usually sentimental] lesson that emphasizes the morals of 1950's America: Christianity, truth, and family. We watched a conclusion of "Father Knows Best" (a traditional television sitcom) in which the son Bud confessed to lying about stopping a burglary [a very male thing to do]. Rather than being rejected as a male, Bud was rewarded by his parents and clergyman for telling the truth, emphasizing the values Truth and Christianity over performing traditional male roles.

But, as Zhou Xinhe pointed out, The Simpsons challenges these traditional male roles. Homer is not the problem-solver, he is the problem-maker. Further analysis of Homer [and his fatness] revealed a man who was unintelligent, lazy, and violent: rather bad father material. But, as you pointed out, he was a loving and supporting husband to Marge (essentially playing the emotional supportive role of the traditional female).

Similarly, the episode showed us a clash between Marge [the traditional female] and Chloe [the professional female]. The figure of Chloe is public, accomplished, and widely desired. By contrast, Marge is only desired by her husband and has never left her hometown. The two women are opposite figures of femininity. 

However, Marge triumphs in the end of the episode by saving Lisa [we did not talk about whether this reinforced to challenged the traditional meanings and structures, but what do you think?]

Jessica Neuhaus will interpret the way The Simpson's deals with traditional roles of femininity.

Assignment:

For your homework, I would like you to find the academic article by Jessica Neuhaus "Marge Simpson: Blue-Haired Housewife, Defining Domesticity on the Simpsons" (2010). Please use the Kean Library databases.

This is a difficult article. Don't be intimidated. Please use the 4 steps of academic writing to help you make sense of this article.

1) Identify the topic

2) Define key terms

3) Discuss (the development of the argument)

4) Examples (to illustrate/reinforce the argument)

Friday, 3/6

Today we talked about Symbolism, the use of an object to represent a larger idea.
Analyzing symbols can help you to interpret the meaning of a text and build an argument about it.

Steps of Analyzing Symbols:
1) Summarize the text
2) Look for Objects: things/places/people that have deeper meaning
3) determine the meaning of the Object
4) How does this help you interpret the text as a whole?

We began by reading a few paragraphs from Fitzgerald's The Great Gatsby.
We summarized the paragraphs (the main character is standing alone, staring at a green light, and wanting it).

1. You identified the object of the green light as significant.
2. We determined that green often represents ambition and greed, as well as (American) money.
3. We looked at an existing interpretation of the green light.

• The author's claim is that the green light represents Gatsby's desire for Daisy (another character)
• Notice that the author uses quotes (but perhaps too extensively--and without citing).
• Toward the end, he makes the claim that the green light might also represent society's desire for the American Dream.

Next we examined Dylan Thomas' poem "Do Not Go Gently Into That Goodnight."

1. The poem is written to Thomas' dying father and lists different groups of men who regret not having accomplished more or put their gifts/talents to better use

2. There are few objects here, but you noted the repetition of the words "rage," and "night."

3. We interpreted "Night" as "Death" and "Rage" as a resistance to death, or a desire to accomplish more in one's life

4. Rather than dismiss this poem as the grief of the poet, you determined that this poem instructs the reader "to want more."

Finally, we looked at Carolyn Forche's poem "The Colonel."

1. We noted that the poem describes a dinner inside the Colonel's house. We see family and domesticity and normalcy. This is interrupted by moments of violence in the shape of a pistol, broken glass, and finally the Colonel himself who dumps a bag of ears on the table.

2. You identified ears as a symbol.

3. We interpreted the ears as:

• proof of dead/murdered people
• instruments of listening/hearing

4. The final lines divide the ears, some of them listening, some of them "pressed to the ground." We interpretted this as the Colonel's disregard of human life as well as his subjects' listening or waiting for what is coming, looking into the future when the Colonel is deposed.

Assignment: Using your knowledge of symbolism, read and respond to "She Used to be My Girl," an episode of the popular American television show The Simpsons.

You will need to 

1) summarize the episode 

2) identify at least 5 symbols 

3) interpret at least 3 of these symbols 

4) state what these symbols suggest about the meaning of the episode/show as a whole.

(The scheduled assignment of reading Jessica Neuhaus' academic article, "Marge's Blue Hair..." is pushed back one class session; however, it is a long article. I suggest you begin reading early. Please find this using the Kean Library database.)

First Day

Introductions, Syllabus, etc.

Please complete your NIH Training

Your Blog

Your blog is an important part of your course grade and the place where you will document most of your work. Please create and customize it now.

Your blog must contain.

• a comment sections where your classmates and I can post responses (the platforms Blogger and Wordpress are useful for this: Tumblr is not.)
• your name and this course name are visible in the blog title

Post your name and the link to your blog as a reply to this post.

* Remember that you may not be able to access your blog outside of campus. Please plan accordingly.